Why you need to know this

You might be thinking ‘Why bother disaster-proofing? Isn’t it an escort’s job to take care of everything?

It’s true that a good escort will guide you through. They’ll make you feel supported, no matter your level of con􀀁dence. But we can only do so much, and the vibe (and amount of champagne) that you bring to your date can easily hamper our e􀀂orts.

We only have a limited amount of energy that we can devote to each customer. If you make the encounter hard work – because you’re not sure what you want, or you’re not making an e􀀂ort to be friendly and helpful – then your worker might lose their enthusiasm. When that happens, your session is going to feel awkward, and you’ll get bad service.

1. Be honest about what you need.

A successful booking starts with self knowledge. Communicate with the sex worker or escort agency.

A date with a sex worker isn’t just about getting laid. There are many reasons we get sexy, including sex, touch, attention, talk, trying new fantasies, and even kink play. When you’re searching for the right escort, make sure you tell them what sort of activities you’re hoping for. That way, they won’t have to guess when you meet up.

Part of this communication is also involves being honest with your worker about your level of experience. If you’re new to this and unsure of yourself, it’s important they know so that they can guide you through. Likewise, if you’re super anxious, your escort needs to be informed so that they can reassure you that everything is okay.

2. Put some effort into how you present yourself.

How you present yourself will affect how well your sex worker treats you.

It’s not about being young, conventionally attractive or confident – a good sex professional won’t judge you for any of that. Rather, it’s about showing you see your encounter as special and trying to appear at your best.

This means taking some care with your personal hygiene and dressing up as though you were going on a regular date. Trim those nails, give yourself a fresh shave, and make sure you look and smell like someone that’s fun to get close to. After all, this is a person you’re about to get intimate with! If you don’t smell or feel good, it’s going to be very hard for your worker to give you an enthusiastic service.

Lastly…this might be obvious, but being well-presented also means being sober. A drink to calm your nerves is fine, but being visibly drunk is not – it will make your escort nervous, and might put you in an unsafe situation where you can’t communicate your needs. If you’re hoping to go all the way, it might also interfere with your ability to get a hard-on.

3. Make an effort in the bedroom, too.

A good date isn’t just about picking a skilled escort, lying back, and letting the magic happen. Your escort matters too.

I’ve met a few clients who ‘starfished’ – simply lay there, waiting to be pleasured. It wasn’t much fun. It’s not just the escort’s job to make everything happen – it takes two to tango! If you want a mutually pleasurable experience (one where your escort is enthusiastic about being intimate with you), the starfish manoeuvre isn’t recommended.

A great way to make an escort is to ask your worker, ‘How do you like to be touched?’ Follow their instructions and demonstrate that you care about their pleasure too. If you’d like to take turns pleasuring each other, the two-minute game can be a fun way to experiment. For bonus points, learn how to check in with your worker using, ‘how does that feel’? It’s an excellent way to ensure your date is having as much fun as you are.

You don’t need to be experienced at this. Even if your sex moves feel uncertain or awkward, your escort will appreciate that you’re making an escort.

4. Prepare for the day-after blues

Feeling sad after sex? It might be the phenomenon known as ‘drop’.

During sex, our brains release natural ‘happy’ chemicals, such a dopamine and serotonin, in huge amounts. Unfortunately, we only have a limited supply in our bodies. This means that we sometimes run a little low a day or two later, leading to a low mood that kinksters call ‘drop’.  It sometimes feels like sadness, but can also show up as irritability, tiredness or vagueness.

Drop is hard to avoid. The best defence is looking after your body by drinking lots of water, eating well and getting a good nights’ sleep after your date. If you know this might happen, you’ll be much less likely to worry that something is seriously wrong, and you’ll be able to ride it out.